As the author of Buyers Are Liars & Sellers Are Too and the real estate columnist for the Tennessean, Richard offers his unique, tongue-in-cheek perspective of issues and trends that affect home sellers and buyers. His byline has also appeared in the Nashville City Paper, Real Estate Business, Real Estate Executive, The Nashville Business Journal, the Nashville Scene and In Review. We’ve selected a few articles that you might find helpful if you’re buying or selling a home.

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• The top 10 lies in real estate
Having written a book entitled Buyers Are Liars and Sellers Are Too, I am often asked to relate a few of the “lies” that occur in real estate transactions that would lead me to title a book in such a way: 10. The truth-in-lending statement is true. 9. Buyers and sellers expect the other side to counter their offers. 8. Speaking of toilets, another lie is that a sanitary sewer system is clean. 7. You don’t need your own agent. 6. The basement never leaks except in cases of a hard rain.  5. The appraisal establishes the actual, definitive value of the house. 4. The buyer’s loan is in good shape, but they need to take possession a couple of days early. Everything will be fine. 3. Advertising sells houses. 2. All houses are priced 10 percent over the price the seller wants to receive.  1. I can’t afford that house.

•Let’s order our houses by coffeehouse standards
As of late, Starbucks has been more successful than the real estate market, perhaps Realtors should take a page from the Starbucks employee manual and learn from it. Therefore a buyer would tell his Realtor that he wanted a midi, threebe, twoba, with green cha, a 3vg, on a pound and a half, dine in — for carry out would refer to a mobile home. That, of course is a 1,000- to 1,500-square-foot, three bedroom, two bath, centrally cooled and heated with an energy efficient system, three car garage, home situated on an one and a half acre.

•Home inspections have two important groups -- buyer, seller
Many buyers adopt the persona of prosecuting attorneys as they approach the inspection. Some inspectors and buyers feel that the buyers' real estate agents are lobbying for the defendant and would prefer that the dissection of the residence reveal no deficiencies. That, however, is a myth that should be debunked. The truth is a bad inspection is one in which any fault went unfound.

• Survey says: Buyers should get one
Unfortunately, many buyers are not aware of the peril they could be facing by the lack of a mortgage loan inspection. Fences, driveways, swimming pools, gardens -- even houses -- have been found to encroach as results of these surveys. After having the encroachment explained to them, the sellers' standard reply is, "It's been that way as long as we lived here." Let the buyers beware, that logic is not shared by the courts. Request the mortgage loan inspection, and sleep well.

• Don't buy internet home loans hook, line and sinker
With many buyers, especially with those often labeled as Generation X or Generation Y, there is a familiarity and comfortability with the Internet not shared in the offices of lending institutions. The customers see the sticks and bricks of the banks as weights around their ankles as they surf for the best interest rates. Sadly, there are hundreds of thousands of homebuyers who log on to their computers and secure home loans from online lenders. Often by using ReallyCheapLoans.com, these borrowers are charged exorbitant fees that are unavoidable due to the fact that they are only disclosed at the closing when it is too late.

• Buyers bark, and sellers bite
Homebuyers and home sellers are dogs. Not really, of course. Dogs walk on four legs, are covered with fur and, for the most part, have a pleasant disposition. I have always loved dogs, having shared most of my life with the canine genus. And, as you might guess, I love buyers and sellers as well, having shared even more of my life with that group. I have found that my knowledge of dogs and their behavior has been beneficial in the arena of residential real estate.

• Young homebuyers stimulate the economy
To stimulate and sustain economic growth, all humans should procreate whenever possible. That decision is personal and should be entered into responsibly; however, 25years will pass in the flicker of a flame, so keep it in mind, because the city needs youths buying homes. Consider it patriotic.

• Look for quality renovations in old homes
In attempting to determine the quality of the renovation, look for continuity. Is the trim consistent? How about the doors? Hollow core doors in a 1930s renovation may not work. A sloppy renovator will leave the original 8 inch baseboard in some rooms, then opt for more modern less expensive baseboard in rooms where he ruined the original. It’s the difference between Herman’s Hermits and the Beatles.

• Homeowners beware of insurance issues
The Nashville residential market braces for another record year, with several significant developments in the industry. The most daunting of the changes are: the homeowner’s insurance situation, the decision of lenders to forego mortgage loan surveys, and an overhaul of the termite inspection procedures.

• Mold is the latest in a string of hidden crises
As the residential property industry had eliminated asbestos and mitigated radon, the group was desperately in need of a crisis.  Fortunately for those that enjoy the art of worrying and perhaps the litigation that follows, synthetic stucco reared its Dryvited head. Then along came mold with its portent of gloom and destruction followed by education that bred optimism.

• Square footage fallacies
You cannot afford the home you decided not buy to last year… Buyers should compromise and buy something within a reasonable timeframe, thus gaining the equity through appreciation.

• Mighty mites take their bites
They sit anxiously in closings awaiting the delivery of the feared and revered "termite letter." The fact is that buyers should want the termite letter to reflect that the inspector actually found termites, due to the fact that most real estate contracts require treatment if there are termites or other wood-destroying insects present.

• Inspection worth the headache
The buyers and sellers have negotiated the price, possession, and terms. They are exhausted, mentally, emotionally and psychologically. Enter the inspector…

• The home is hot if…
Using winter comps in a spring market has cost many a buyer many a house. They are not able to comprehend how five different people outbid them. Be prepared for the hot home if it’s been on the market for one day and the listing agent has scheduled appointments in 30-minutes intervals.

• Affordable doesn’t mean cheap
The developments, which have been made affordable today, include quality construction, intricate detail, along with a very hip, cool décor in urban locations. These homes represent the best real estate investment in Nashville today.

• Seller will one day regain their rights
The Buyer's Rebellion has ended with the sellers relinquishing all the rights that they have enjoyed for the past 14 years. It is a new day with a New Deal. Sellers will be abused, pillaged and robbed of all rights. There is hope in sight, for change is around the corner.

• Are you flipping crazy?
Every veteran real estate agent has received the following call: "I have stumbled upon some extra cash lately and decided to buy a house or two and flip them." Real estate flipping should not be attempted by amateurs. The chances of profiting are slim. In most cases, the only thing flipped is the buyer's net worth. So how do people do it?

• You say goodbye
While most of John Lennon's life has been chronicled in books, on audio and video, and his songs and poetry dissected and interpreted, it is only recently that it was discovered much of his work foretold the recent events that have become the residential real estate market.... It seems like yesterday that the market was riding helter skelter on a magical mystery tour breaking sales record after sales record, eight days a week, year after year, and the industry should have known better than to tamper with the growth of the area and simply let it be....Do you want to know a secret? The taxman thinks it won't be long, not for any time at all; the chains of this misery are broken....There is a housing revolution on the way and everything is gonna be all right....

• Even a hot market has mathematical limitations
As the Nashville residential property market continues to defy all logic and rationale, many buyers have entered into the turbulent waters of home selling, throwing all historical data to the wind. With it may go their chances of selling….Even though prices per square foot are rising, many times the overall prices are not keeping up proportionately.

• First offer may be final
With the frenetic pace of the current residential real state market, some sellers are not appreciative of offers presented on their respective residences…Just as many buyers are hesitant to purchase the first home they see, many sellers refuse to sell their house to the first person to make an offer. If the offer is reasonably close to asking price, they feel they priced the house too low. …If however, the offer is low, they are irritated to the point of insanity.

• Prices soar in a super market
(No Kryptonite in Metropolis)
Many times before a house is placed on the market, the owners are instructed to paint, carpet, refinish hardwoods, and remove clutter. Often the owners balk, stating that the buyers can see through the mess and that a little paint won’t fool anyone Oh, yeah? Ask Clark Kent. Most buyers have no x-ray vision.

• Keep eyes wide open at an open house
The scenario in which open houses accomplish the most is when a property is debuted at the open house. A first showing open house on a home in a good location, in marketable condition, priced fairly and promoted correctly can produce multiple offers and result in a clean contract for over the asking price, In today’s market, this is the rule rather than the exception.

• Sometimes the Realtor is the problem
The top things real estate agents do or say that drive me crazy: 1. “I am not going to let my client pay that much for a house.” 2. When agents must be present at showings. 3. When agents submit lowball offers on properties with the flimsy excuse that the offering price is all the buyer can afford. 4. When an agent assumes the personality of the clients.

• A little refresher course needed
With rates this low and prices this stable, logic would dictate that sales would be soaring through the roof. Yet, that is not the case. According to statistics released last fall, one guideline is that if a house is shown 10 times without an offer, the property is overpriced.

• Home invitations beckon
Armed with the capability to preview the properties on the Internet, buyers are now able to eliminate properties, and are therefore more qualified prospects. Consequently, more properties are being sold at open houses, even if the home has been listed for several weeks or months.

• Feng Shui comes to town
Clutter can shrink a room more quickly than a king size waterbed. Little did you know, Realtors are shuists, of the feng variety…

• Another battle with Ogres
Agent after agent related the nightmares they had encountered with For Sale By Owners (FSBOs). In a recent encounter with a house for sale by owner, I had an experience the likes of which I have never encountered…

• Polar bears do boost property value
It has long been a belief in real estate circles that a statue of St. Joseph buried upside down in the backyard would help sell a property.

Richard G. Courtney is a licensed Tennessee Real Estate Broker, license #00205406.